Warning signs of domestic abuse
Here’s how to spot the key warning signs and personas of domestic abuse perpetrators.
We rarely understand or believe we’re in an abusive relationship when we are. We may be aware we’re unhappy, or have a ‘gut feeling’ but we ignore it. We accept the excuses and go on believing tomorrow this will stop/it wont happen again. It wont stop until we stop it, we can do this by safely ending the relationship i.e. Safety Planning, engaging with support services, rebuild our lives and regain our FREEDOM.
We need to stop ignoring it, respond to it and say NO MORE!
Here are the key warning signs and personas to look out for.
Bully – states would never hit a woman early in the relationship, could be aggressive to others, silently sulks with no explanation/apology.
Jailer – insists on giving us a lift everywhere, states wants to be with us every day, questions whether our friends are good friends.
Headworker – expresses sexist/racist/homophobic views, tells us we could be really attractive if…., demeans us with ‘humour’ infront of others
Persuader – makes us feel sorry for them, makes us feel only ‘understands’ them, bleats about how hard done to they are by previous relationships.
Liar – minimises, denies & blames wont accept responsibility for own actions/behaviours.
Badfather – can assume role of disciplinarian of our children, buys favour of the children, encourages them to defy our instruction.
King of the Castle – uses male privilege, if they do domestic chores, they may not complete fully or well, so we end up doing it again without letting on, moves in too soon.
Sexual Controller – makes us feel prudish if we’re reserved or if we don’t feel ‘ready’, is irresponsible about contraception, could be unfaithful, gropes us in public.